Explosion
by calzonayang
Summary: 6x23 and 6x24 shooting episodes. The story of the shooting, Meredith's miscarriage and missing scenes. Please R&R. ONESHOT


"Oh my god! Meredith, get down!"

Cristina's whispered voice broke with fear as she peered out of the window in the store room door.

She crouched suddenly as the gunman neared their hiding place.

"What? Why?" Meredith whispered back.

"That's the guy from the elevator. He asked me for directions – how to get to the chief's office. The guy with the gun is looking for Derek."

Meredith suddenly doubled over and gagged.

She felt panic welling in her chest as she slumped against the wall, gasping. Her heart was racing, but only one thing was at the front of her mind: Derek.

Cristina moved quickly towards her friend who was on the verge of hyperventilating.

"He'll be okay," she whispered, gently rubbing the small of her back.

Meredith hadn't realised she'd said his name aloud. She let herself hope Cristina was right.

"Is he gone?" Meredith asked urgently.

Cristina slowly lifted the blind and looked through the glass.

"Yes," came her reply. "Yes, he's gone. We have to go. We have to get out of here."

Cristina grabbed Meredith's small hand in her own and looked into her eyes.

"Come on."

That small gesture alone made Meredith feel better and she squeezed her friend's hand tightly as she stood up shakily.

Together, they stepped cautiously out of the room. They ran towards the nearest staircase and rushed up them, taking two at a time.

When they reached the top of the stairs, Cristina paused and led Meredith out into the corridor. It was almost isolated.

Almost.

Meredith's breath caught in her throat when she saw the figures on the other side of the hallway. He'd found Derek.

"No!" She started to run but Cristina's arms held her back.

Her screams were cut off by a hand to her mouth as she sobbed uncontrollably.

As horror consumed her and adrenaline rushed through her veins, Meredith felt like she was witnessing the horrific scene from above. She struggled against Cristina's tight grasp, trying to reach Derek. She wanted to scream but she couldn't make a sound.

Meredith could see Derek's lips moving but she couldn't make out what they were saying. She heard April's voice, then it stopped as she ran through the doors behind Derek.

His eyes blazing with anger, the gunman raised his arm.

Derek heard the bang before he felt the pain.

Hot, wet blood began soaking his shirt. He fell to the ground, his chest heaving. His fingers dappled in the sea of red flowing from his chest, his breath coming in short, quick pants. With every heartbeat, the pool of blood around him grew, staining the floor a gruesome red.

He heard footsteps going away from him. The sound was strangely distant as he fought to inhale. To exhale. To do anything.

All of a sudden, he saw Meredith above him, her face pinched with horror and pain. She was speaking to him but he couldn't focus on her voice.

Cristina was there too. Of course. They had always come as a pair; the twisted sisters. Something pressed against the wound on his chest as he faded away.

Derek's vision came back into focus as he heard Cristina's voice. She was talking to Meredith. He tried to move, to find Meredith himself, to tell her not to worry. He lost consciousness.

Meredith felt a sharp twinge in her abdomen. An aching replaced the nausea.

"Cristina," she gasped, "You can do this, right?"

Her reply was a solemn nod as she finished scrubbing.

"I'm good. For a resident. I'm very good. Meredith, you can't be in there. You need to sit here."

"He's my husband!" Meredith protested desperately.

"Do you want me to kill him?"

"Do you want me to kill him?" Cristina protested, "Is that what you want?! I will do my very best work, but please, Meredith, I am begging you, sit down and wait. I can't have you in my OR staring at me with big 'Don't kill McDreamy' eyes. You need me to save him and I can't do that with you in there."

The door opened and April walked into the scrub room.

"Good," she said, nodding at April "you sit here with Meredith and make sure she doesn't try to come into my OR. If she even tries to peek or looks like she might try to come in, stop her. I don't care how. Just stop her."

"Okay," came April's timid reply.

Every second seemed like an hour as Meredith sat against the sinks, trying to breathe normally. The aching pain she'd felt since they first saw the gunman was getting more painful. Her hand found its way to her flat stomach as silent sobs shook her body. What would do if she lost her McDreamy? Guilt filled her mind as she remembered that he didn't know about the baby.

The sound of April's sobs only made Meredith feel more agitated.

"Stop _crying,_ " Meredith hissed _._

Look, it took me a long time to find him. A long time. And even then it took me a long time to even know that I wanted him. To be married, to be his wife, to have his kids," her pulse raced as she thought about the baby inside her.  
"And now that I realize that," her voice broke, "He's lying on the table in there and my best friend's hands are inside his _chest_."  
She took a shaky breath; " _You_ don't get to _cry_ about that."

As April closed her eyes, Meredith's cold hands palpated her abdomen and she winced. Remembering the time when she got appendicitis and afterwards Cristina made fun of her for what she said when she was on morphine. Tears pricked her eyes at the thought. That memory seemed so long ago.

Meredith fought the urge to look behind her. She could have sworn she heard the sound of a flatlining monitor.

Maybe it was just her imagination. Her back was beginning to spasm horribly. The nausea was beginning to return as the tension grew.

April was looking worriedly at Meredith as she exhaled slowly, he fist pressed to her abdomen. Meredith ignored her.

"Are you-" April began.

"I'm fine," Meredith snapped.

The door swung open suddenly and Owen walked in. He saw Meredith sitting on the floor and crouched beside her.

"Owen, thank god! Derek's been shot. Cristina's in there, go and see if she needs help. She told me not to look."

"She seems to be doing okay," he said.

"What's wrong?" he asked Meredith as she rubbed her stomach.

"Nothing. Aren't you going to scrub in?"

"Not at the moment. I'll just see if Cristina needs any help." His expression was blank and his voice was oddly strained.

"Okay." Meredith managed.

He pushed open the door and stepped into the operating room.

A soft whimper of fear slipped from Cristina's lips.

"Owen-" she begged for him to help her.

"Whoa, just calm down. Calm down. Tell me what the problem is," Owen pleaded.

"Stop fixing him," Clark spat, his eyes never leaving Cristina. "Let him die. Let him lie there and die." Cristina ignored him, tears running down her face. "Do you want me to shoot you? Stop fixing him!

"No!" Cristina sobbed, "No, Jackson, clamp the hilum so we get control of haemorrhage, - so I can get visualisation.

"Don't you dare!" Clark shouted

"Clamp the hilum so I can see," Cristina's voice broke.

"STOP!" Clark raised the gun again, losing his temper.

"No! Owen, I can't stop," said Cristina

"I know. Keep going, you can do this," Owen encouraged, hiding his own terror.

"You! Stop, or I will shoot you!"

"Hey!" Owen yelled, "That is the woman I love. If you shoot her, touch her, I will kill you!

"And I said stay back," Clark snarled. "Maybe I'll shoot you first. I shoot you and then I shoot her and then I shoot Shepherd. Is that what you want? I didn't come here for this. My wife is dead. He's responsible," he glared at Derek's body, his eyes burning with fury.  
"I came here for justice," he continued, his hand shaking. "An eye for an eye. The only person I want in this room is Shepherd. Now back off! And you step away from that table."

There was a crash as April lunged for the door.

"Please!" The door opened and Meredith stood in the centre of the OR.

"Shoot me."

"Meredith!" Cristina whimpered.

"You want justice, right?" Meredith made her voice steady, ignoring Cristina's protests. "Your wife died. I know what happened. Derek told me the story. Lexie Grey pulled the plug on your wife, she's my sister. ? He was your wife's doctor. I'm the closest thing he has to a daughter. The man on the table, I'm his wife. If you want…" she closed her eyes for a second

"If you want to hurt them the way that you hurt, shoot me. Kill me.  
I am your eye for an eye. Shoot me."

"Meredith," Cristina shouted, her eyes crazed with horror.

"Tell Derek-" Meredith began, her legs barely holding her up, "that I love him and that I'm sorry.

There was silence as Clark considered this.

"Wait! She's pregnant. You wouldn't shoot a woman who's pregnant? Please." Cristina said.

Seizing the opportunity, Owen leapt at the gunman's right hand.

A gunshot blew apart the tension in the atmosphere and all hell broke loose.

"Raise your hands! Trust me, raise your hands. He's going to shoot again, raise your hands!" Jackson said as Owen collapsed.

"I'm stopping!" Cristina shouted.

Cristina and Jackson lifted their bloodied hands out of Derek's chest. Hidden under the retractor, Jackson had removed the monitor, causing a false flatline to show on the screen

"No," Meredith cried out, "No. Derek! No!" She collapsed to the floor and her body shook with physical and emotional agony.

The room spun around her.

"Listen to me," Jackson turned to the gunman. "In a few seconds, his heart is going to pump blood into his chest and stop beating. You'll see it on the monitor. Just wait. Wait for it. Watch the monitor and wait for it"

"Please, don't stop! No, no!"

The monitor flatlined.

"Derek! No, no, no." Meredith fell to her knees.

See? It's over. He's dead. It's over," Jackson said. "You can leave."

Gary Clark turned and left.

Jackson quickly reconnected the monitor. Derek was alive.

"Is Owen dead?" Cristina sobbed.

"I don't know," Meredith gasped.

"Doctor Grey! Is Owen dead?" The harshness of her tone force Meredith to move.

She felt Owen's pulse and saw that the bullet wound was superficial.

"He's alive. He's unconscious but he's alive."

"Right, take him to an OR and get that bullet out."

"I can't-" Meredith was shaking so much she could barely stand.

"Meredith, I'm trying to save your guy, just go and try to save mine."

April came to help Meredith move Owen, who was gaining consciousness.

Meredith's heart skipped a beat as she felt a wetness between her legs and another cramp hit her.

Owen's body jerked under Meredith's grasp.

A wave of pain washed over her as she dodged his movements.

April glanced at her worriedly.

"Upper left shoulder," she lifted his arm "through and through. You're going to be fine."

"That's what I've been trying to tell you! Let me go!" Owen protested. His eyes looked up at Meredith's face as he struggled to sit up.

White hot pain shot through Meredith's abdomen. Her face contorted as the waves of agony threatened to drown her. A soft moan escaped her lips.

"Meredith? Meredith? Are you okay?" April's voice broke through the layers of agony.

"I'm okay." Meredith lied through her teeth as the stabbing pains racking her body contradicted her words.

She doubled over, clutching Owen's arm for support as she struggled not to pass out.

"Oh my god, did you get shot?" April shrieked as she reached out for her friend's shoulder.

"You could be in shock and not know it! Here, let me feel you for-" April's voice was cut off as Meredith gave a small gasp.

She squeezed her eyes shut, feeling the edges of her nails cutting into her palms.

"Meredith!" Owen's hoarse voice sounded. "Are you hurt?"

"I'm-" she clutched her stomach with her free arm, trying not to vomit with the force of the contractions.

She felt a hot wetness seeping down her legs. She glanced down and saw a patch of dark redness spreading on her scrubs.

"There's blood spreading down your thighs..." April's voice was soft, her tone different; concerned but no longer panicked.

The room spun alarmingly as Meredith felt the blood leaking down her legs.

"April-" she closed her eyes. "Just... give me a second," she said to April. "I need-" she winced "irrigation trays, morphine and antibiotics."

"I'm..." Meredith bit her lip hard as she doubled over in agony. April let go of Owen's uninjured arm and held Meredith up.

"I'm having a miscarriage." She forced the words out breathlessly.

Her voice sounded so small and weak, even to her.

Owen's body went limp as he stopped struggling and lay back down on the gurney. His blue eyes were fixed on her pale face.

"We need a stapler, lidocaine, morphine and irrigation trays.  
Come on, are you going to help me or not?" Meredith winced, "Let's go."

Meredith made herself start to clean the wound on Owen's shoulder. She became aware of her friends staring at her.

She winced and felt a single tear roll down her cheek and behind her mask.

The lump in her throat became more prominent as she fought to hold back the tears threatening to drown her.

Minutes later, April was helping Owen get up and they all jumped when they heard a gunshot in the eerie quiet of the deserted building.

Police officers walked into the room and relief flooded her mind. The gunman was dead.

Meredith pulled on a trauma gown to cover the bloodstains on her scrubs as she tried to make herself walk.

"Hey," Owen called after her. His good arm slipped around her waist and she cried out in pain.

"It's okay, it's okay." His voice was soft.

She stumbled to the door and pulled on the handle, her fingers slick with blood.

They made their way to the locker room and Meredith sat down slowly on the bench against a wall, panting.

After a moment, she opened her eyes. "Is Derek alive?" She asked, knowing Cristina was standing in the doorway.

"He's alive. He's in recovery." She saw the state of her friend.

"Mer? Are you alright? Is that your blood?"

Meredith nodded slightly, watching the change in Cristina's face as she understood.

"Owen. Go and get a follow up on that shoulder. I'm not risking anything."

Knowing he didn't have a choice, he stood and left after embracing Cristina and glancing awkwardly at Meredith.

Cristina walked slowly towards Meredith and sat down next to her on the bench.

"Miscarriage," Meredith's voice broke as she confirmed what they both knew.

"Yeah. I'm sorry, Mer."

Meredith rested her head on Cristina's shoulder and tears began to fall down her face.

She groaned as another round of pain began and leant forward, gasping.

Cristina massaged her back as tears leaked from her own eyes.

When the cramp passed, Cristina helped Meredith to stand up.

"I need to shower," Meredith whispered.

They moved towards the shower cubicles and Cristina helped her friend to peel off her soaked clothes. Nudity had never bothered either of them, but now Meredith couldn't look at Cristina.

"I'm okay. Go and help."

A doubtful look crossed Cristina's face as she turned on the shower for her.

"No. No one is okay. You are not okay. You're in pain. If I go, you might pass out in the shower. I am here. I am staying."

Meredith sighed and stepped under the spray of warm water, letting it run over her body. The water ran red.

She leaned heavily on the rail as Cristina held her hand. Pain washed over her in waves. She had never felt anything like it. Not when the cold water in Elliott Bay was rushing into her lungs and when she gave up hope. Not when Derek left her. Never. This pain was entirely new. It was unmatched. Unchallenged.

For the few hours she had known about her child, she had barely had time to even consider the future. And now that future was gone. And in those few hours, she loved that child as much as she loved Derek.

When she was dressed, Cristina made her friend sit in a wheelchair and pushed her out of the hospital. Meredith hid her face in her hands and thought how lucky it was that the corridors were still mostly empty.

They ended up in a clinic a couple of minutes away. Cristina forced her into a bed in a private room.

Meredith lay on her side, her body shaking. She suppressed a sob of pain and Cristina yelled at the nurse until they got an IV in.

Later, she lay on her back, basking in the relief of the painkillers.

"You need to go back and make sure no one tells Derek if he's awake."

Cristina glanced at her phone.

"He's not yet. Are you sure? I can stay."

"No. Go, I'll be fine. Owen knows... so does Kepner. Cristina, Derek can't know about this. Not yet."

"Okay. I'll go."

She squeezed Meredith's hand and looked at her before walking away.

Meredith let her head fall back onto the pillow and she stared at the ceiling, trying not to think.

"Doctor Grey?" Her OB entered the room.

"We need to do a D&C. It won't be long, the fetus was only about five weeks along. Your friend left. We can wait-"

The wording stung a little. _Baby_ she thought. That was our baby.

"No. it's fine, just do it."

Meredith had said the word fine so many times today it didn't seem like a word anymore.

Meredith's eyes fell on the positive pregnancy test on the shelf. She picked it up and walked slowly, deliberately towards the corner of the room and dropped it in the bin.

"Mer?" Cristina called. "Derek's asking for you."

Meredith gave a small smile and walked towards the door, pushing the horror of the last 24 hours out of her mind.


End file.
